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"JOY in the Journey" (Post 6)

"JOY in the Journey" (Post 6) So this morning was complete noise and chaos with the twins. Of course I did not handle it very well. In fact, instead of remaining calm I raised my voice and allowed my own anxiety to take over. It escalated the situation to a different level. I was not happy with myself and ended up calling Jim and the kids to apologize for not handling it correctly. Five minutes later my phone rings and my son had called me from school to apologize for his behavior. We talked, I apologized specifically to him again, I pointed out what we both had done wrong, pointed us back to Jesus and we ended the phone conversation on a very good note. Even in the midst of what seemed like complete chaos I am seeing the hand of God. He is working. And so on this difficult (but also JOYFUL) journey I am choosing to trust my Savior and my King.
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"JOY in the Journey" (Post 5)

"JOY in the Journey" (Post 5) I have been very emotional today...a heaviness....a sadness. Since 2005 I have been a full time stay at home mom to 4 wonderful (not easy) children. It has been difficult but also a blessing. Soon that season of my life will end. My youngest (and last) child will be starting school next month so he can start speech therapy. I thought I was doing to be fine but I guess it is harder than I thought. Part of me is excited to see what this next season will bring but I am also a bit sad. In another area, I believe that God is also shifting me a bit...digging deep and destroying those idols I am tightly holding on to. I am a very needy person and it is so easy for me to latch on tightly to friendships which is not healthy. He may also be preparing me for another desert experience in this new season and I honestly feel anxious (but also excited!) He is destroying those idols that are in the way of my being refined. It is really emotional
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"JOY in the Journey" (Post 4)

"JOY in the Journey" (Post 4) So there is A LOT going on but I am seeing God's hand in everything. I took my youngest to the public school down the street for a speech evaluation and they told me that my youngest could get speech therapy but because I homeschool him now he would have to attend the public school (starting in a week till June) to get the speech therapy. I met the Kindergarten teacher and she was very sweet. I admit, as a Christian mother, I was a bit nervous about sending my youngest to public school (but God knew how I felt) and He surprised me later on that evening when my oldest and I went to the Lutheran high school to sign up for classes and electives for this upcoming Fall semester. We were sitting in the gym waiting for it to start and I turned around and saw this lady (who looked VERY familiar). She looked at me and we pointed at one another and said, "Hey! We saw each other this morning at the public school!" It was my youngest Kin
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"JOY in the Journey" (Post 3)

"JOY in the Journey" (Post 3) Today I had washed my kids clothing and after picking up the kids and arriving home my one son (who has sensory processing disorder and anxiety) saw that his pants had whitish lint residue on them. Instead of talking to me he had a total meltdown of anger and screaming at me. I admit I was very shocked and hurt. In the past I would have gotten angry and would have yelled back but for some reason I remained calm with God's help and told him he wasn't going to talk to me in that way. I went to my room in tears feeling overwhelmed, concerned for my son's response and just prayed fervently. A friend messaged me telling me that "those who lash out usually need love the most." I thought about that and ended up going to my son, wrapped my arms around him and told him I loved him, that I felt hurt in his response and concerned about his response as well. He just melted...he hugged me back and immediately apologized for get
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"JOY in the Journey" (Post 2)

"JOY in the Journey" (Post 2) Being a parent of unique, strong-willed, transparent, rigid, and sensitive kids is not easy. It is very hard. I go through times of feeling overwhelmed in this parenting journey BUT I know without a doubt God has us in the palm of His hand. God never promised a cruise through life but a battle with His armor on. A few years ago I would have been crying out to God, "Why me Lord?!" but now I know (not just in my mind but my very core) that He has a greater purpose. And even in the midst of tears and feelings of anxiousness there is still joy. It is an inner peace that is deeper than happiness. I would have never understood true JOY IN HIM without first going through suffering... He has us. I am so thankful! 
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"JOY in the Journey" (post 1)

"JOY in the Journey" (Post 1) Last night we ended up praying together but it is still tough.... my children have a combo of strong-willed personality added with anxiety/SPD/possible ADHD and whatever else. My oldest has possibly mild depression along with whatever else she has. It can be chaotic and not a very joyful household. We do have moments of joy but it is not common for everyone to be in high spirits. This is literally my cross I daily bear. I am trusting God because He has a reason for everything but man is it hard. On a positive note I am learning to relate to other parents whose kids have issues as well. I use to be that prideful woman who constantly put her foot in her mouth, thinking I knew everything. But now through this trial God is teaching me to be more compassionate and empathetic.  God is good.
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